I can see the light!

Oh! Oh! Oh!!!!!

I had a little thought pop into my head today. For once, I am on a new path. I’ve finally broken the cycle that I was in…!

Ok, I have to slow down. So, today I took my last difficult exam for the semester (besides finals) and I know I passed it! Now… I don’t know that I passed it with the grade I want, but ultimately, I know that I am going to pass this class. I’m going to pass all of my classes, and I’m actually expecting to remain on the Dean’s List. But… oh where was I going with this…?

Oh! So, I was walking to my car and I was thinking about how long I’ve been doing this college thing. And then it hit me.. I have 3 semesters left. So what if I’ve been doing this for so long. THIS is a point that I’ve never gotten to. I’ve never gotten down to the last 1.5 years of college. I’ve never been able to say, in 1 year I’m moving to Japan. But right now, I can say it. The overwhelming amount of joy that hit me from this made me take a look at myself and I realized that I’m finally moving forward.

This was an amazing realization for me and I’m really proud of myself. I feel like I can actually see the light. I’m so close to being where I want to be.

BURNED OUT

Oh. My. Gosh.

I did not know that the end of the semester could feel this miserable.

I am aware that part of these feelings are just because I am still dealing with the recent event that I endured and I’m shaking off those emotions. However, another part of it is DEFINITELY burn-out. I am just so darn tired of studying. Tired of flipping through these darn books. I’m tired of going to certain classes that I think aren’t benefit me. I guess the “issue” could also be the strong anticipation I’m having right now for my winter vacation. I’m just over it.

I know I’ve got to stop saying things like “I’m tired” of this and “done with” that. It’s not good. It’s just a bunch of negative energy that I end up allowing into my life. I’m just not exactly in my happy place these days and it’s made worse by all of these end of the semester shenanigans. But you know what, to end this on a positive note:

  • I am healthy
  • I am safe
  • I am on track to graduate ON TIME
  • I am in excellent academic standing
  • I have 3 days of class left
  • I’m finally feeling positive feelings about work again
  • I have a very large, loving support system

So yeah, the future is bright. I have got to start thinking about this when those negative thoughts try creeping into my head. I’m already trying to overcome this by thanking God for every, tiny or large, blessing I have- first thing in the morning.

Everything is going to work out great…!

Oh, and soon I will be flooding my wonderful blog with posts. I’m so excited. I’ve got some ideas and projects that I want to share and work on during my upcoming free time. Included in that is definitely fixing up this blog!

Mid-term blues

Ah yes… my dear blog. It’s been some time. Life has been beating me to a pulp, so I haven’t actually published anything (although I have created many, many drafts). But here I am…!

I might be depressed about other aspects of my life, but I’m NOT depressed about my academic works. Despite that I have not being giving myself a well-deserved pat on the back, I have truly been excelling. Somehow, I’ve managed to truly put all of my energy into my academics and I gotta say, the fruits of my labor are sweet. This was the first year that I was not worried about mid-terms and I am still not worried about finals. I’m so happy to be able to say that! Now, I’ve just got to push through this final 30 something days and be sure to finish STRONG. I’ve got so many things I want to write on my blog, many things I want to record for my vlog, and I am really interested in making my blog look nicer. I’m hoping that when the semester ends I can work on these things. I’m anticipating that around this time next month, I will be VERY active and I will be posting often.

So, see you then~

De-Clutter Update #4

I’ve officially hit a standstill. I’m not saying it in a bad way, but it’s happened. Somehow I’ve been able to make junk of what little I do have and getting through my paper waste seems impossible. I’ve made great progress on my wardrobe though. I got rid of a large amount of clothing that I don’t/won’t wear and I’m down to only what I do wear- which will serve as the foundation to my soon to be capsule wardrobe. I’m not really sure of what I “need” or need to to right about now, but I just want to.. get rid of.. no, organize my things. Hopefully this will be the last of my de-clutter updates for the year. In 2018, my goal will be to downsize (over time) to having the absolute minimum. Within 1-2 months of my big move, I should have downsized to about 2-3 suitcases before making my final purge. We’ll see how this goes.

De-Clutter Update #3

I. Have. Paper. Everywhere.

I am having the most difficult time managing paper and paper waste. I spent over an hour shredding a week ago and now I’m up to my neck again! Well… not up to my neck, but how do I still have junk left laying around?? I just don’t get it and since the semester has started back up, the paper will only increase! I want to create a DIY filing system of some sort, but there’s so many options and so little time to make a decision…

Also, I’m trying to figure out when to buy something new and when to “ride something until the wheels fall off”. Specifically my laptop. In 2016 I purchased a laptop to replace this one that I’ve been using since 2013. Unfortunately for me, I hated the new laptop and after hardly one year of use, I just couldn’t use it anymore. $600 in the drain. Now, my 4 year old laptop is barely holding on for its life (keyboard issues, wifi adapter doesn’t work, CD port falling off) and I just feel this urge to get a new laptop. I don’t know if I should just try to… refurbish and clean up this laptop to make it “feel” new again, or… The other issue is that the laptop is a bit bulky and heavy and I have to bring it with me to school everyday. I don’t want to have a third laptop and I don’t want to spend the money on a new one. So… I just don’t know, but I sure hope that my 4th update is a lot more positive.