Is it better to be.. “broke”?

I captured this photo while passing through Shizuoka on a road trip to Kyoto

A year ago, I was going to wait 8 more years to move to Japan. Isn’t that just ridiculous? Well see, there’s a reason. I wanted to have $50,000 before I go and I wanted to obtain this money by joining the military and saving.

While this plan might sound financially solid, it was silly. How could I possibly live my life as if I know what’s going to happen to me 8 years from now? It just goes to show how much I’ve changed in less than a year and how valuable hindsight will always be. You see, a major lesson I had to get through my thick skull last year was that I do not control my fate and I do not know when my “day” will arrive, so I should allow The One who knows best for me to keep on leading, while I faithfully follow and enjoy the things he has planned for me (not to say that this ride won’t be a bumpy one!)

I had to overcome my need to feel like I have control over the things around me for me to open my eyes and realize that I was about to let my life dream slip right in between my fingers, just as I was literally about to have it. (That’s how the enemy works though, huh? He’s not always gonna attack you during the race, but maybe right at the finish line.)

The sun was setting at Hayama beach and I was blessed enough to watch it go down.

Now I had a “good” reason for why I needed 50k. Or at least, I think it was good. Remember, I already said it was also silly. I had this idea that, when I moved, I just wanted to purchase a house and some land, maybe not work for like a year while I enjoy my time in Japan, and not worry about the cost of anything. So basically, I wanted to semi-retire LOL. Sometimes, I think I did look at Japan as a place of retirement because for a while I just knew I wanted to move there, but never considered what I’m gonna do next. Even now, I’m not sure of what I will do, but I know I’m not gonna sit around.

I want Japan to become my home, not some permanent vacation location. I want to grow in Japan, begin a family there, contribute to my community, and do things that help Japan become an overall better place, while hopefully (someday) also contributing to a mission group, and just… making the world a better place. When I think of “home“, all of that comes attached with it. I want to begin the growth of some deep roots.

With that being said, I strongly believe that struggle is a necessary part of all of that. I don’t expect, or even want it to be too much of a “breeze” for me to settle in Japan, and anyway from the research I’ve done, it won’t be. I want to work hard and appreciate the fruits of my labor. I want to really have a feel for how much money I need to make, how much I need to save, and apply these thoughts to my drive to exceed my financial expectations. I want to meet all of the interesting people, good and bad, that you always meet along the way of a struggle that teach you lessons about humility, strength, faith, and kindness. I want the pressure that always leads to a fire lit under me and the creation of some of my best works. I want the full experience. Because like I said before, I want Japan to be the place that I can finally call home.

I often find myself shouting, I don’t want to live a mediocre life! This mentality may be the one that kills me, but it also may be the one that makes me one of the stronger soldiers in the army of Christ.

We’ll see.


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