Goodness, I’m really grateful to have finally gotten to a place in my life where my love life is going well.
I’m still really young, so it makes sense that I’m still getting the hang of things. Still, it just feels so good to be in a place in my life where I am no longer being stressed to the point of depression because of my dating life. In the past, I was always either unhappily with someone, unhappily searching for someone, or unhappily taking a break from dating altogether after being hurt. It was exhausting to experience and even more exhausting to constantly complain about to my friends. I felt angry all the time towards God for giving me the desire to have companionship and start a family, but not giving me a mate. At some point, I honestly forgot what it was that I was even looking for in a mate- I just wanted to have one. Then came the bouts of deciding that I was going to “give up” on dating all together, which turned out to be even more miserable then actually trying.
But now, things are finally different. I’m not seeing anyone at the moment and I’m not looking. It’s not because I’m hurt, bitter, sad, uncertain, or anything negative. I still want
companionship. In fact, I still expect it. I love the idea of real love and I’ve been on a quest to understand what “real love”, or love in general, really is. At the same time, I’ve spent the last 5 or 6 months (maybe more) learning about myself and filling up my free time with my hobbies. I haven’t even thought much about dating, but when I do, I feel warm and happy. I also haven’t come across any guys who actually meet my needs, so I haven’t felt compelled to try dating anyone. Speaking of my needs though, I’ve also spent my down time being honest with myself about my needs and expectations of a partner. This also makes me look forward to dating because I feel more confident about my ability to chose a good partner.
I’m so content with and excited about my love life right now. I know that life is like a conveyor belt that never stops sending opportunities down to me, so it’s only a matter of time before I’m taking a dip in the dating waters again. I can’t wait!