Stressed and Ungrateful

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Why is it always so tempting to start off the new year in a sprint?

I mean, in some ways I started my new year off like any other day/week/month, but I also identified two areas of my life that I’d like to see improvement in and immediately decided to start working on them… And I feel like I immediately got stuck in quicksand.

Let me just get right to it; I am far too easily stressed- sick and tired of being sick and tired, and know that if I practiced gratitude more often, it would offer me a remedy for the stress in my life. How hard is it to be grateful? Seriously? In fact, I thought I was already a pretty grateful lady… til I started consciously practicing gratitude and I noticed how quickly I forget that I was “happy just to have” something.

It’s just frustrating how hard-wired my body is to be the opposite of what I am trying to become. It’s even more frustrating how difficult it is to complete activities to get myself in line, like fasting and habit building. I look at people in the bible (and people in present day) with so much less judgement because it’s just so easy to be selfish, live for yourself, and see the world as if it orbits around only you.

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But I’m not giving up. I’m going to keep working at this gratitude thing til I get it down. And as far as stress goes, I’ve been trying the scariest- but potentially most effective method… just accepting things the way they are and not concerning myself with them. It’s like going down on a roller coaster with a blindfold on. SCARY.

…But then I get to the bottom and everything is so good, I’ve got to wonder what I even did all that screaming for.

 

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