I Can Have Both

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Today I had the kind of encounter I treasure the most. It was with an older woman working at my job for the day. She was really enthusiastic about meeting me, which threw me off because I’d never met her before. “I’ve heard so many great things about you and I really wanted to see you in action”, she told me. I wondered who she’d heard these “great things” about me from because I recently learned that my children have been going around school bragging about me to teachers and students. It has given me a really good reputation around work- amazing how much a kid’s word can mean, huh? Anyway, I couldn’t help but blush as I returned to the front of the room to teach my children their math for the day. After school, I looked for her and found her. She embraced me as if she were a close relative (or at least the way I’d want to be embraced).

“I was so happy to meet you” she told me again. I went ahead and asked her if it was my students that she’d heard bragging on me. “Teachers and students have been telling me about you all day”, she replied. I thought for a moment that she might have been making it all up, but then I realized it doesn’t matter and that I need to bask in being uplifted! “Tell me about you”, she asked. I’ve come to really appreciate this question as I have worked on defining who I am. So I told her that I’m a student, a teacher (of many subjects), and that I’m not exactly sure about what I want to do anymore because there are two careers that I’m interested in.

“You could do both.” Somehow, I never considered this until I heard her say it. It was as if the “light-switch” was turned on in my head. Then she said something that really stuck with me, “there’s a divine purpose for you that’s much bigger than what you think is possible. That’s why you’re here now.” I felt my heart drop when I heard those words. I try and remind myself every day that everything happens when it’s supposed to and that I am exactly where I am supposed to be right now, yet, I didn’t believe it until she said that. Suddenly, I could fill motivation bubbling up in me and the light at the end of the tunnel seemed brighter. I have been so anxious lately because my entire life has become one big question mark and I’ve been forced to live by faith. I’ve been questioning myself so much; trying to figure out where I’m going from here.

She left me with one last statement; “You can have as much as you need and as much as you want. Not as much as you need OR want. You can have both.”

I don’t know this amazingly kind woman. I don’t even know if I’ll see her again. I don’t know why she wanted to encourage me so much, but grateful just isn’t strong enough to describe my feelings towards her for her kind words.

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