The 90-day Mark

90day

You know, sometimes I feel like I’m doing so great. My optimism peaks at an all-time high. I eat well, go to the gym regularly, pray regularly, and I (feel like I) have a grip on my life.

Other days, I just sink into the depths of my lows. I could be eating better, working out more, praying more, waking up earlier, achieving more at work. Do I have a grip on my life? Or am I standing on the accelerator petal- headed straight for a cement wall?

This is the 90-day mark, and let me tell you, I’m not at all where I imagined. I mean, perhaps the issue was that I hardly had a vision of what right now would look like.

What I mean by all of this, is that I’m in a strange place in my journey. My original plan was to move to Japan in 90 days, but after some recent experiences, I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m not in a place to move yet. Yes, I could take the risk and “just go”. Yes, I am a firm believe in risks. However, there are risks to be taken and risks to be avoided. I don’t want to move to Japan for just a short period of time. I want to move there for the rest of my life (potentially). My original plan to go was created with the mindset of “just getting there” and perhaps it was childish. I don’t make very much money, and I’m up to my neck in debt (NOT including student debt), so I’ve hardly saved anything and I know it costs money to relocate- even with the help of an employer.

I’m also at the edge of the dark, “job” pit that seniors are forced to look into and realize how tough it truly is to find a job. More importantly, a place where one can work comfortably, grow as an employee and as a person, and endure minimal unnecessary stress.

Needless to say, I’m alive and mostly well, but at this point, I’m not exactly happy. But I’ll be trekking on like I always do. I know the good part is on the other side.

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