There are a few things that I’ve been trying to do for years now. My longest-standing unaccomplished goal is to move to Japan. My shortest, but still 3-year-strong, has been to lose a specific amount of weight. In between sits goals like growing my hair to the middle of my back, passing the JLPT N2, getting married, and starting a successful business. It’s so easy for me to say that I’ve tried “everything”, but haven’t had any success. Honestly, it seriously feels like I have. But the fact is- I haven’t tried “everything” yet.
Last year, I started listening to messages by Tony Robbins, a successful, motivational speaker and life coach. In one message he mentioned the concept of “trying everything” and he changed my perspective for the better.
Let’s be honest here, when you’ve been working your ass off for something and you start to feel exhausted (AND empty-handed) it truly feels like you’ve gone down every avenue possible, and you can’t bear going down another. It’s so tempting to give up and assume that things just are the way that they are. Next comes frustration with your body and your circumstances, which is followed by comparing yourself to others. It’s a vicious cycle that can drive a person into a very dark place, mentally.
So, I have a question for you? How do you define “everything”?
Let’s say you’re trying to find a romantic partner. You’ve downloaded every app out there, gone on several dates, and even asked a couple of friends to help you find someone. It’s been a while, months, maybe even years, and you’ve had no success. Not to mention, now you’re bitter from the negative experiences you’ve had and you’re questioning if you’re meant to be alone. It doesn’t help that everyone around you seems to be in a happy, healthy romantic relationship. You feel like you’ve tried everything and had no success.
Or maybe you’re like me and you’ve been trying to lose weight for years. You’ve tried fasting, tried working out, tried several fad diets. You may have even tried weight-loss pills. Yet, you haven’t lost any weight and you can’t seem to stop eating. Your clothes start to fit tighter and every bulge of fat you see chips away at your self-esteem. You feel like you’ve tried it all and that maybe you’re just meant to be “fat”.
In both situations, the conclusion is false. Take a look at each and think of other things a person in these positions could be doing. For example, how long did they spend on a “solution” that wasn’t bringing them any positive results? If you’ve spent 3 years swiping through Tinder, OkCupid, Bumble, etc; your problem isn’t that you’ve tried everything. Your problem is that you spent way too much time on something that clearly wasn’t working out. It’s like going into the fridge, seeing that there’s nothing to eat, then coming back three more times to the same result- only to become angry when you’re still hungry and there still isn’t any food in there. Why would you think there would be a change if you haven’t done anything to change it?? Even in the weight loss scenario, you’ve got to ask; how long did you try each “solution” and how do you define “trying”? Did you go on a ridiculously restrictive diet for a month, only to end up binging every weekend? Did you go on a diet that was working, but after you relapsed a couple of times, you gave up (because you decided that those little relapsed negated all of the hard work you’d already put in)? You haven’t tried everything, you’ve tried ridiculous things or you’ve given up way too soon.
I’ll leave you with this; consider the fact that most highly regarded accomplishments in life do not occur overnight, nor without failure and struggle. It takes patience, faith, dedication, and perseverance to run “the race marked out for us” (Heb12:1 NIV). It is the way that God designed life. So before you throw in the towel and say you’ve tried everything, rethink what “everything” means to you, take some time to rest, lace up your shoes, and get back in the race to your pre-destined victory.