At the end of September, I posted that I was taking a short break from writing in order to focus on other things.
Other things included my upcoming graduation next month and my absolutely pointless courseload, studying Japanese, posting more content on my other platforms, improving my quality of life, acquiring a post-graduation job, and the list goes on. So much has changed and the past few months have been absolute hell. Looking back, I predicted this in my diary over the summer. I just knew that there was no way I’d get to glide my way through the finish line. So let me be transparent and catch you up.
I’m Not Moving to Japan
I’m not saving the “best” for last. Nope. I’m just going to start with my biggest disappointment of the year. I just knew that by now, I’d be purchasing my one-way ticket. I could already picture spending the holidays there, adopting a cat, and most important- finally settling down. I spent months in a roller coaster of emotions and it’s finally starting to settle down.
There’s a few reasons why I’m not moving and believe it or not, they’re all very good. It is better for me financially, mentally, and physically for me to be here right now. I was ready to risk it all and take the leap, which is still a good thing. However, the feeling was like running forward and being jerked back by a leash. My pride was hurt and I had to deal with the embarrassment. Not to mention, two of my acquaintances will be moving to Japan at the time that I was supposed to be moving.
My Health Has Improved
The good thing about being an emotional wreck is it’s easier to work out. Or, that’s how it is for me. Despite some emotional eating, mixed with being surrounded by candy because of Halloween (and I’m a teacher), I have been hitting the gym hard and drinking plenty of water and tea. I’ve even officially switched over to black coffee!
My endurance is insane. I can jog at a decent pace, with increased resistance, for more than 40 minutes without a single break. I’m lifting at least twice the weight I started with and I can tell that I’m stronger when it comes to typical house chores. My weight hasn’t gone down though, in fact, it’s gone up. And no, it’s not muscle. My measurements are larger and I can’t fit many of my old clothes.
I Got A Job
I have managed to secure a pretty nice job that I’ll start after I’ve graduated. While working, I intend to complete my Master’s Degree and (fingers crossed for) my Ph.D. The job isn’t exactly what I was expecting post-graduation, but I’m happy that it’s not in the field of nutrition. I was very worried that I’d be doomed to counting calories in a hospital somewhere. I actually have a very good feeling about this job and the people that I’ll meet. God is truly putting it on my heart that he’s got something big in store for me there.
I’ve Returned to YouTube
I have been contemplating my return to YouTube for a long time now. I was initially planning to make videos that went with the content that I post here, however, I’ve been very engaged in my passion for teaching people Japanese and helping those who self-study. So, I’ve started up a series that I’d been contemplating for a while and I will also be posting videos about my experience as a Black, female Japanese learner and speaker.
I’m actually quite excited to be back on YouTube and I’m more confident in my work now than I was before.
I’ve Expanded My Family
It’s not just me prancing around and being cute anymore. I’ve adopted a kitten and her name is Checkers. She’s sweet, annoying, whiney, and absolutely hilarious. I couldn’t have asked for more in a furry companion.
I’ve wanted to adopt a cat for so long, but like the other things that I’ve been wanting to do, I was putting it on pause until I felt stable enough. I could be making a naive, foolish decision by no longer putting my aspirations on pause until the “right time”, but I’m at a point where I’m willing to take the foolish risk.
In the past few months, I’ve learned that I’m not in control of the route that I take to my destination. I don’t get to hand-pick the cards that I’ll be delt. However, I’ve got full control over whether or not I make the most out of what’s in front of me right now. So that’s my plan for the moment. I want to rest in knowing that God is in control, with big plans for my life.
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
- Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)