Blogging with a purpose

I really enjoy my little blog and what it is becoming. Sometimes, I remind myself of this when I get anxious and start to question why I have a blog and whether or not to keep it. It’s so easy to quit doing something that you don’t feel secure in and I refuse to let that be the case with this blog.

At the same time, I think I can use those emotions to positively fuel my energy being directed into only what is it that I know I want to do right now. I’m not entirely sure that I want to be on YouTube, Facebook, or even Instagram, so I tend to go on and off of using those platforms, despite that I don’t even have bad intentions for them. I just don’t know how doing them makes me feel. When I made this blog, I literally sat down and wrote out a plan. I even made rules for myself. I haven’t been that clear with the others and I just don’t think I want to keep up with them. I think I want to just stick with blogging and that’s okay.

31 Day Fail

So, my 30 day challenge is already in the garbage… and now I’m wondering if I’ll be able to accomplish my other goals for next year. It sounds really awful but I am honestly feeling this way.

I’m finally here for my long-awaited vacation and my emotions have been so mixed. It could be hormonal but… well let’s start by talking about my challenge that I mentioned in an earlier post. Part of the reason why I even wanted to do the challenge was because starting later this month or early next month, I wanted to begin studying for the JLPT. My plan was to spend at least 1 hour in the morning and possibly 30 minutes in the afternoon studying. By working on this challenge prior to studying for the exam, I was supposed to be creating the habit of getting up and spending this time studying. Unfortunately, the challenge turned out to be a bit… difficult for me. I would sit down to write and quickly get hung up on words and grammar. Along with that, I’ve already had my first dispute since I’ve been here and I got so frustrated when I thought I could not understand what the store clerk was saying to me. Ultimately, I argued well and understood him quite perfectly, but in that moment, I questioned myself. Can I really speak Japanese when it matters? I’ve been studying the language for more than half of my life and I’m tripping up on it while trying to express my emotions to a simple store clerk. Doubting myself has really managed to make me fall behind and it does not feel good.

So, I took today “off”. Sure, I’m on vacation but I’ve been trying to beat jetlag by getting up and keeping busy. It’s been working pretty well for me so far but I’m ready now to take a break and clear my mind. I’m very serious about my language goals because they’re truly the catalyst to my other goals. If I could just go to a language school and call it a day, I would. But I can’t. It seems that, just before I am able to do something good, I have to work especially hard to prove how bad I want it.

What do I do when I want more stuff

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So, my transition to a “minimalist” lifestyle has been very, very rewarding. Cleaning up only takes me about 10 minutes, I don’t miss ANY of the junk I got rid of (in fact, I can see myself getting rid of MORE junk I don’t touch), and I believe that I’ve saved money because I now think really long and hard before I bring something new into my home. I also really like to think of ways to make use of everything I already have. I was already doing this with food to save money and reduce waste and making this a part of my normal decision making has been so wonderful.

BUUUUUUTTTTT….!

Now, I sort of want some stuff.

I’m proud to say, I talked myself off of the ledge of buying more useless clothing and hair products. However, I have been wanting more makeup and make up brushes, I’ve been seriously thinkng about decorating my living room and bedroom more, I’ve been thinking about upgrading my phone and getting a new phone case, and I’ve decided that next year I will invest more time into my hobby- crafting. With that, I’ve been thinking of which specific craft I want to improve (I’m torn between sewing, jewelry making, and nail art) and then I am thinking of exactly what items I will need to purchase. Of course, these items will require storage space too..

I don’t know, I just feel like I think a little TOO hard these days about making purchases. Then again, is there even a such thing? Especially considering that 2018 is the year that I am supposed to be completing a second round of down-sizing because I am making my big move early to mid 2019.

I’ll probably do a bit of Google’ing on the topic before I buy anything… I think. But I sure do want to figure this thing out. I really, REALLY enjoy how non-cluttered my life has become since I downsized and I have no desire to live in a big mess like that again. At the same time, I don’t know how to handle my desires.

Just when it seemed like it couldn’t get any worse…

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I don’t think I’ve ever had this much trouble crossing off my to do list… but this finals week list has been so hard. And just when I think it can’t get any harder- IT DOES. Sigh. The good news is that, despite how hard it has been, I am still killing it. I might feel like I’m losing a little piece of sanity (lol!) but hey.. difficult has not equaled out to impossible.

IMG_0926Also, I just realized that tomorrow is supposed to be the first day of the 30 day challenge I mentioned in my other post. Oh lordy!

In better, happier, virtual news, this game has really got me thinking of what kind of place I want when I finally begin the journey of settling down. It’s such a happy thought, I’ve even been thinking of making a new vision board, piecing together my ideas for my first “home”.

 

Also, the trailer for the upcoming avengers movie looked great!

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Home Stretch!

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I. Have. One. Day. Left.

I’ve only got one day of classes left… The rest of my time this week will be spent studying intensely. I am just so ready for this semester to end. And after it does, the first thing I want to do is figure out how I will avoid burning out like this again..! I think that the first thing that I will do after my last final exam is lay down. I might spend the day in bed watching kung fu movies. The next thing I want to do is consider my options for getting a piece of workout equipment in my home. Like a treadmill or something.

As far as my virtual life goes:

  • The animals are total divas
  • I don’t understand why I can’t put my new TV on a tabletop
  • Giovanni has me set up for a 30k loan as if I didn’t just go into debt paying off a 10k loan
  • I absolutely love my little camper
  • I want some new clothes

Enjoying time off

 

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Well, my break has already come to an end. In fact, I’m pausing between work to post here. It’s been so, so difficult to make myself give up my energy for homework right now. I just don’t want to do it! Haha! It’s like, the end is so close right now that I just want to forget the rest and just let the semester end. I’ve only got 2 days left of class and I’ve got until the end of this week to submit my last handful of assignments. I think the only thing I care about right now is organic chemistry.

Besides that, I’ve downloaded the new animal crossing game. I absolutely love it and I love to use it as a virtual getaway and an excuse to get lost in imagining a life where I’m off the grid and live in a camper. I’m also going to use it as an excuse to post my favorite gameplay shots and my random thoughts here. 😝