4 Life Lessons



Sometimes life grabs you by the throat and squeezes


I’ve always been instructed to pray bold prayers, so finally, I started to do just that. I asked God for several things, and I also asked him to take several things away from me. However, I didn’t realize the level of preparedness that I would need in order to get through what God was about to deliver.

A spiritual journey. Yep, that’s what I asked for. And you know what? God ripped me up and out of my comfort zone faster than I could finish the prayer! I have spent my time since then going through every emotion possible and slowly beginning to lean on my faith in ways that I didn’t even know were possible. I’ve got so much that I want to write and share, but for now I’m just going to talk about 4 lessons I’ve been blessed with recently:

Lesson 1: Be grateful for the blessings you do have

Honestly, I really thought I had this one down! I thank God all the time for the blessings I do have. BUT, I also have a terrible tendency to let the tiny setbacks in my life overshadow the good things. I realized that I need to spend a lot more time than I did before expressing gratitude. It’s not enough for me to just thank God for 5 minutes in the morning, before bed, or just before I bite into some food. I need to express my gratitude constantly so that I can never forget how fortunate I really am. There are a few ways that I have began to express gratitude more often, but one in particular that interests me is community service. Helping someone else really motivates me to be better, but also reminds me to be glad for all of the small things I do have.

Lesson 2: Know that you’re not alone

It’s so easy for the devil to whisper in my ears during my moments of darkness and remind me that I’m all alone and that no one can save me. So I’ve learned how important it is for me to really know and believe that I am not alone. There are people who have been through or are going through whatever it is you’re going through and they survived. You never even know but, some people may be going through it at the same time as you and they’re right beside you. It’s easier to slip into depression when you think it’s just you and that the world hates you, but if you recognize that you’re not alone, it makes that little light at the end of the tunnel much brighter.

Lesson 3: Lean on those who want to support you

It’s easy to think about and forget the people who you believe are there for you during tough times. Actually allowing yourself to be vulnerable and leaning on them is another story though. Sometimes I really felt all alone in the world and the old me would have wallowed in that pity party. This time around, I leaned on the people God strategically placed into my life pretty hard. I allowed myself to open up and talk about my feelings, break down, and even ask for favors that I’d never usually ask for. As much as I hate doing that, I really strengthened relationships, built new ones, and decreased the weight of the stress that I was going through.

Lesson 4: Keep pushing and never give up

That darn depression induced tunnel vision is the worst! It really makes me stop in my tracks because I’m almost convinced that the rest of the world has come to a screeching halt. In reality, it’s only me that’s stopped moving forward and making progress. That’s something I’ve learned I can not do. When it seems that one door is shut, it’s imperative that I start looking for the next door! Giving up is just not an option and neither is accepting the answer “no”.

Lately, my advice to those around me is to do what’s best, not what you think is going to be the right decision (unless they are the same thing). It’s good advice that I have got to apply to my own life more often. I look at every day these days as if they could be my last, so I live them to the fullest. I do what I can with what I can, and I can not stress about what I can not do. I appreciate my life much more and my trust in God has been increased 100 times over. I don’t assume that everything will be okay, or that the hard parts of life are over, but I assume and BELIEVE that it is all handled and that I should not worry about things anymore.




Since the new year has arrived, my world seems to have turned upside down. What’s that saying again? Things aren’t falling apart, they’re falling into place…?

I’ve been steady on my path to fulfilling God’s purpose for me and Satan has turned the heat up on me 100 times over. I’ve gone through almost every emotion possible, had a few break downs, and leaned harder on my faith than I ever have before. I can’t help but wonder what it is that I am getting close to accomplishing that the devil is trying to prevent.

To some degree, I’ve gone back to isolating myself from people. Just a little bit. Or at least I’ve taken a step back from anyone who I can not be 100% sure are contributing something positive to my life. I value my peace and sense of security more than ever before and I’ve come to realize that people around me have an outstanding affect on just that. Not to mention, I’ve found that surrounding myself with people who have similar ideas and the same faith as me tend to keep me on track.

But for a moment I was questioning if I am wrong for wanting to be a little more picky about who I surround myself. I questioned if taking a step back from social media was truly the right thing to do. Could “people” really be that bad?

Well that brings me to the present day. In January I began my hunt for my “success groups”. I attended classes and interest meetings for many groups and organizations both on and off my campus in search of the one that would fit. After some time and some research, I narrowed my search down to just a few groups and began to settle into them. Everything really seemed like it’d go well with each group and for most it did, however, there is one group that things just did not seem to workout with.

A life lesson that I thought I was already familiar enough with decided to bring me some more lemons. The reason I tend to pull away from people and prefer to keep my circle extremely small is because I learned a while back that most people don’t love (or even like) me unconditionally. In today’s day and age especially, people like dismiss anything that doesn’t give them instant gratification. I learned very quickly that in one of my new groups, openly disagreeing with what the group wants (or specific individuals), instantly makes me an outcast. The feeling of being exiled like that initially took me to a low I haven’t seen in years. Suddenly, it seemed like I was so alone when I was only looking at that one group of people because I had nearly forgotten about all of the love and support I had from elsewhere. Suddenly, I seemed to have forgotten that I’d already become a part of other groups and did not have to solely interact with just that one.

Of course it didn’t take me long to see the light and to realize that the cloak of loneliness had been thrown over my eyes, but I had a thought. I remembered why I’ve chosen in recent years to take a step back from social media and why I’ve become such a picky person about who I allow to exist in my circle. I really value my inner and outer peace and sense of stability.

At the same time, as much as I love the life of a hermit, I know that it’s not good for me to just live under my safety shell. It may not seem like it initially, but my presence could make some sort of positive impact. And my outspokenness could be what inspires others to do the same and make a change some day. Not to mention, I think I needed a little bit of fire under me for me to really make a change in my life.  And after one month, I can honestly say that I feel renewed.





Until recently, I didn’t realize how much of it I am lacking. I like to think of myself as an amazing, valuable woman who is capable of way more than even she realizes. Yet, in the past month, I’ve caught myself saying “why me” when offered great opportunities. In those moments, something else takes over me and I begin to question myself completely. Can I really do that? Do I really know that? Am I really worth all of that?

It’s an awful feeling and I’m not quire sure how to get to the root of the issue. I am somewhat sure that part of it is that I rely to much on myself and not enough on God. So what if I can’t? He can. He can do it for me or even through me. So what’s there to doubt? Am I not following His will? I mean, I may not be perfect, but my heart is set on the will of God and I can not allow pesky self doubt get in the way. Besides, God won’t let self-doubt get in the way! Self doubt can pester me and try to take me out, but it’s no match for my God.

Like any other challenge lately, I’m looking this one in the eyes as I lace up my spiritual boxing gloves. I let these kind of thoughts rule my life for too long. Now, one-by-one I am determined to face them head on.

Finding treasures in the depths


The depths of my mind used to be a place that I was afraid to visit. It was dark and filled to its capacity with bad thoughts and nightmarish versions of all my memories. I’ve slowly sorted through the thoughts in there and I’ve emptied out much of the trash ones. I’m still questioning just about everything I thought I knew about myself and my beliefs. Today, while pondering the typical college student thoughts of “what will I do when I graduate”, I realized something. I don’t want to do what I’m doing now. Just typing that feels so bad…

What if the job that I always considered to be my “childhood dream” isn’t really the job that I want to do? For a normal person, this is probably a ridiculous and simple question. Of course the job you thought you wanted to do as a child is not the job that you want to do now! Well… it’s not that simple for me. For a long time, I held on to my inner child. As if I froze her in the moment that I began to dislike my childhood, only to revisit her when I became an adult and give her all of the things she wished she had emotionally and physically. It’s been very difficult for me to realize that the child has grown up and no longer requires to be taken care of in this way, but it’s been a work in progress. At a time, I tailored my life to revolve around her. I played with toys, bought books I used to read as a child, and even listened to some music that she liked. I got past almost all of it, but I’m learning that there are still some things that I think and do that are soley based on this inner child that I am working to get rid of. Today’s epiphany was just another hurdle that I think I am ready to overcome. I’m starting to realize that my dream of becoming a laboratory scientist may not be the actual route that I want to take. I do love science and I enjoy my job, but I am being forced to accept the fact that it is just not what I want to do for a career and that that’s OK. When I think of myself pursuing a different career, I almost feel as if I’ve let someone down.

As far as my career is concerned, well that’s a beast for another day. I’ve said it here before, but I don’t see myself just doing some regular 9-5 madness for my entire life. And I don’t think I should feel one bit of guilt if my first job after college seemingly has nothing to do with what I went to school for. Considering the many ways that nutrition can be bent and twisted to fit anywhere, I don’t see why I’d feel bad for applying for a job other than that of a clinical dietitian. I know that thinking this way seems worthless to most people. They think i’ll “learn” when I end up stuck at my 9 to 5 trying to make ends meet. It’s always funny to me because I don’t live in the box that everyone has their minds confined to. The good news for me is that I am single and free to explore life however I see fit and I intend to remain this way until I find a place in life that I’m ready to settle into.

First week back & my new mantra

I am officially back for a new semester and I’ve got to say it started off so, so rocky. 😅 I actually had a little bit of a rough time getting home because of all of the east coast snow delaying flights. Once I actually got home, I was battling hormones and jet lag at the same time. It didn’t help that when I got to one of my classes, the professor basically described her class as a living nightmare because of her unrealistic expectations she will place on to her students. And I’m not saying this just because it’s what I think, I am taking what she said and re-stating it. That pretty much ruined my mood and attitude for my other classes for the day and possibly the week. But I think I did a very decent job at making an effort to always keep my head up, stay motivated, and stay on track. Along with the many other things on my mind, I had a very difficult time even getting out of bed this week, BUT I am proud to say that I fought through it and I am using my time this weekend to charge up my spiritual batteries so that I can come back three times as strong. I am planning to create some motivational posters to put on the walls in my room and I’ve decided on a mantra. “One year left”. Picturing the things I plan to have an accomplish after I finish this chapter of my life lifts me up a lot. I am being careful, however, not to shift all of my focus onto how “great” the future will be when I get out of this place. That was one of my 2017 mistakes that I vowed not to make in 2018. I will enjoy this year and I will enjoy the current chapter of my life. My little mantra is good for the days that I just… can’t, but it is not my daily motto.

Reading goals for 2018

Last year was a phenomenal year for me when it comes to reading. I see so much growth in my knowledge and ability to focus as a result of how much I read last year. I don’t think I’ve read this much since I was in the 6th grade! So, I want to keep it going. Originally, my goal was to read one more book than I did last year, but I think I want to tweak that goal a little bit a lot. My reading goals for this year will be met by reading articles between now and May. If I find this to be effective, then I’ll continue it throughout the year. This doesn’t mean I won’t read any books at all, but I may not read more BOOKS than I read last year (which was 4 or 5 books). Here’s the plan for every week between now and May:

1 NHK News article ( link )

1 Research article ( link / link )

1 Nutrition article ( link / link / link )

3 Pages of my Japanese nutrition book ( link )

For each read, I don’t want to spend more than 1.5 hours at a time reading. I also want to write a short summary for each (in English), record a vlog of myself summarizing, or I will just take notes as I read. This should be fun and a very achievable goal as long as I keep up with it.

Goals for 2018


My 2018 Goals:

Smile more

I’ve heard that smiling can contribute to a better mood. I want to be happier and I want my inner happiness to be seen on the outside too. I want to be able to transfer some of my joy to another person. I do believe that smiling can give me a little bit of all of the things I listed.

Become an expert

Taking a course and getting a degree does not qualify me as a knowledgeable individual in a specific field. Sure, my school required me to declare a major, but when you find out how many different specific fields exist within “nutrition”, you’ll learn (like I did) that that is the equivalent of having a major titled “science”. My courses are general and so are my textbooks and professors teaching from those books. I need to educate myself in specific fields and I would like to declare my interest in one (or two). I’d also like to improve my expertise in the Japanese language. And although I’ll never become an “expert Christian”, I do think that I could strengthen my spirit more than I do now by studying my bible more often. I know that I’d also mentioned that I wanted to nurture a creative passion, but I haven’t picked that one yet.


Improve my self-confidence

I can change my look a million times and still believe that I don’t look good at all. I can gain all the knowledge in the world and still not believe that I’m smart. I’m tired of chasing things that will never satisfy me. So I’d like to work on true self-acceptance.

Be slow to anger

I know that my anger has impaired my ability to enjoy where I am in life in more than one occasion. In 2018, I refuse to spend my energy being angry when I should be working on becoming a better me.

Enjoy the year

Truly, I think it’s safe to say that this all boils down to me finding peace. I’m trying to move into the next chapter in my life and for once I’d like to leave some of this heavy baggage behind. I don’t want to spend my last year of undergrad and last year in America, rushing and thinking about how great things will be when it’s all said and done. I want to make the absolute most of 2018 and I with a smile on my face.