There are people who read my blog and that’s something that I can hardly fathom. Between a lack of confidence and a serious case of impostor syndrome, I never felt that I could create anything that would be of value to anyone else. Despite having so many reasons to believe otherwise, I still struggle to wrap my mind around someone thinking a creation of mine is worth their time.
But this is not a post about my struggles with anxiety and identity. This is simply a post to say thank you. Thank you to everyone who has read even one of my posts. Thank you to those who’ve subscribed to my blog. Thank you to each and every commentor. Thank you to everyone who’s written to me to personally let me know that they enjoy my content. I’ve contemplated giving up this blog so many times and I’m glad I’ve decided to stick around. I look forward to continuing to write and share my little 2 cents on life.
There’s no manual given to you when you become a parent. There’s no customized guide to tell you what’s best for your child. There’s also no rewind button after you’ve had a major role in an event that traumatized your child. There’s no law that says they have to forgive you, or bring their children (if they have any) around you. Just like there’s no law that says every parent must have the perfect parenting technique. It’s tricky, isn’t it? Being completely responsible for another human’s physical and emotional needs. I don’t have any children, but I am the child to parents whom I once held a great deal of resentment towards.
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It’s really easy for me to tell someone that I “couldn’t care less” about whatever their problem is- especially when they’ve got a problem with me. It’s even easier for me to brag to other people about how resilient and “thick-skinned” I am. Yet, my anxiety at its core has always been the exact opposite. I’m like a fruit or vegetable with a hard outer shell, but the inside is as mushy as melted ice-cream. Anxiety makes me vulnerable. It whispers into my ear that something is wrong and someone is out to get me. However, in my recent quest to overcome anxiety once and for all, I’ve learned a weapon that can be used against it- the art of not giving a single damn. Continue reading →
I was in church, prepared for the sermon, when this triangular-diagram was projected onto the big screen behind my pastor. Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. This was no concept that I was new to, but I was surprised to see it being brought up in church. As I gazed at this big pyramid in front of me, I was devastated by what I realized. Continue reading →
Well, the past few weeks… No, the past few months have been incredibly strange. I’ve been unable to use any other words to describe this journey to self discovery because it’s incredibly rare that I reach this point. Continue reading →
Tomorrow marks the end of my new job. It’s crazy to think that nearly 2 months ago I said I was unhappy about starting this job, but now I’m sad just imagining it ending. I love my job. I’ve gained so much from it. Wisdom, closure for past trauma, friendship, and perhaps more. I can’t believe that it went by so quickly and not a single day was “bad”. I just can’t believe it’s almost over. I can remember the day I walked in, confused and Continue reading →
I had an interesting, but not unusual, conversation with some of my co-workers recently. At this point in my life, discussions about having babies and getting married come up a lot. I’m approaching the “big 3-0” and it’s got people wondering about my womb, especially since I’m single.
The conversation started off about how unappealing child-birth is. A co-worker around my age brought it up to me and I couldn’t help but agree. I mean, between the pain of the birth, the pain of Continue reading →