Building ladders [Photo Journal]

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I recently heard the term “build a ladder” when talking about coping mechanisms for depression. It made a ton of sense, especially the idea of just beginning by getting out of bed.

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Today is my first time building a ladder and I’ve got to say, it’s might effective…! I began by getting out of bed and writing down 3 things that I will keep my mind on to avoid negative feelings. Then I showered and confronted all negative thoughts and dismissed them.

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The future is bright 😉

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Goals for 2018

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My 2018 Goals:

Smile more

I’ve heard that smiling can contribute to a better mood. I want to be happier and I want my inner happiness to be seen on the outside too. I want to be able to transfer some of my joy to another person. I do believe that smiling can give me a little bit of all of the things I listed.

Become an expert

Taking a course and getting a degree does not qualify me as a knowledgeable individual in a specific field. Sure, my school required me to declare a major, but when you find out how many different specific fields exist within “nutrition”, you’ll learn (like I did) that that is the equivalent of having a major titled “science”. My courses are general and so are my textbooks and professors teaching from those books. I need to educate myself in specific fields and I would like to declare my interest in one (or two). I’d also like to improve my expertise in the Japanese language. And although I’ll never become an “expert Christian”, I do think that I could strengthen my spirit more than I do now by studying my bible more often. I know that I’d also mentioned that I wanted to nurture a creative passion, but I haven’t picked that one yet.

 

Improve my self-confidence

I can change my look a million times and still believe that I don’t look good at all. I can gain all the knowledge in the world and still not believe that I’m smart. I’m tired of chasing things that will never satisfy me. So I’d like to work on true self-acceptance.

Be slow to anger

I know that my anger has impaired my ability to enjoy where I am in life in more than one occasion. In 2018, I refuse to spend my energy being angry when I should be working on becoming a better me.

Enjoy the year

Truly, I think it’s safe to say that this all boils down to me finding peace. I’m trying to move into the next chapter in my life and for once I’d like to leave some of this heavy baggage behind. I don’t want to spend my last year of undergrad and last year in America, rushing and thinking about how great things will be when it’s all said and done. I want to make the absolute most of 2018 and I with a smile on my face.

Moving Forward

This morning, I took some time to write my last entry in my 2017 bullet journal. I wanna just say that bullet journals are AMAZING. I am so glad that I invested in that little notebook for my thoughts. I’ve actually filled up almost every page with my thoughts, ideas, schedules, grocery lists, etc… The entry I wrote this morning was so important and will likely become a reference point for me over the next 12 months. I meditated over just about every other word as I thought about where I am today and where I was this time last year. And when I closed that notebook, I couldn’t help but smile at the idea that I may have this bright future available. It honestly makes me more grateful for every day that I wake up. And speaking of grateful, I also made sure to write out the instructions that I have received from God recently.

Also, today is Christmas and I love it. The idea of a day to celebrate the birth of my savior… Just brings me an unexplainable kind of joy. But is it strange that the next holiday on my mind is Easter aka The Resurrection.

Part 2 to Managing My Anger

Well, my break is coming along quite nicely. I’m in the place I’d rather be, I have 0 obligations, I’ve managed to push all worries to the side, and I’ve spent lots of time meditating or reflecting. Of course, I’ve been reflecting on the topic I mentioned earlier, which was my anger. The more I thought about things like my trigger, the more I found myself coming to a common denominator. That common denominator is my MOUTH! My words! I have a habit of speaking when I really don’t need to and probably shouldn’t. I always want to spit out a quick, mean response at someone, or I want to tell them how they’re inspiring the most negative thoughts within me. If not that, I am hurling out the harshest words at someone whom I’ve allowed to offend me.

Well, I want to try something new. It’s quite tough for me to say that I am going to only speak with a purpose- although I am working towards that. Instead, I will try to think before I say anything that I know can cause a problem. So, before I speak my mind, respond to something aggravating, respond in an argument, or rant on social media, I will ask myself who is benefiting. If the answer is no one, then I won’t say it or post it. I truly believe that perhaps, if I can prevent flames that have already been sparked from growing larger, I can lessen my chances of being burned.

We will see how this goes for me. My last year of college is steadily approaching and I am expecting to be tested. That’s a topic for an upcoming post though.