From August of 2016 until August of 2019 I had a solid plan. I had a vision. I knew where I wanted to be and I was excited to find out what was drawing my heart there. I devoted myself to my goal as much as I knew how to. I told everyone that I was going to do it and the final months leading up to it, I started to prepare and brace myself.
Then, August of 2019 came to an end and took my dream with it. It was like watching someone take your most prized possession and tossing it into a grinding garbage disposal. I cried. I grieved. I isolated myself from everyone. I prayed. Everyone told me that I needed to just face what was in front of me; some even suggesting that my dream was never meant to come true in the first place. My heart was shattered into pieces and I didn’t trust bringing it to anyone for revival- not even God. Continue reading “Is This the Worst-Case Scenario | Life Update”
There are a few things that I’ve been trying to do for years now. My longest-standing unaccomplished goal is to move to Japan. My shortest, but still 3-year-strong, has been to lose a specific amount of weight. In between sits goals like growing my hair to the middle of my back, passing the JLPT N2, getting married, and starting a successful business. It’s so easy for me to say that I’ve tried “everything”, but haven’t had any success. Honestly, it seriously feels like I have. But the fact is- I haven’t tried “everything” yet.
Last year, I started listening to Continue reading “When You’ve Tried “Everything””
I love to watch the Avengers movies. Although, believe it or not, I’m not a fan of heros. The villains are always cooler, ruthless, always willing to do whatever it takes to accomplish their mission. They aren’t usually controlled by their emotions. They usually only “lose” because it’s the only way people would watch the movie. That’s why Infinity War is one of my favorites. But I’m not writing this to talk about my obsession with Megatron and Ronin the Accuser.
Continue reading “Sensing My Purpose”
Well, August is sprinting to the half-way mark and I’m still at the start-line tying my shoe laces. This month began with many epiphanies and hearing Continue reading “Fast-forward | 4 Month Update”
I had an interesting, but not unusual, conversation with some of my co-workers recently. At this point in my life, discussions about having babies and getting married come up a lot. I’m approaching the “big 3-0” and it’s got people wondering about my womb, especially since I’m single.
The conversation started off about how unappealing child-birth is. A co-worker around my age brought it up to me and I couldn’t help but agree. I mean, between the pain of the birth, the pain of Continue reading “Why I Want to Adopt”
After some recent sad events, I’ve been questioning myself a lot. It seems like just a couple of weeks ago I was riding through life on “cruise” mode, but as soon as things got a little hectic I jumped on the brakes and grabbed the wheel. It’s uncomfortable, if I’m being honest. The time that I spent cruising through life was the first time that I have felt free in a long time. I wasn’t concerned too much with anything. Not work or school, nothing. I just told myself it’ll all work out the way God intends and I solely focused on my part- which was to just keep doing my best. One forced kiss, verbal altercation, and academic situation later and I’m back where I started. Struggling to navigate through life on terms that I set out of self-preservation.
In the midst of finding my way back to peace, I decided to do some searching through the Continue reading “5 Good Questions | Part 1”
Gosh, this will not be one of my happier posts. So there’s your warning lol.
Nobody likes to make choices that will cost them a big burden, right? For some, this could be a choice that leads to great financial strain or the loss of a physical item. That’s not what I’m going to be writing about here though. I’m talking about the decisions that cost you the people and relationships that might mean the most to you right now. Continue reading “Making Costly Decisions”
I always listed “caring too much” as one of those things that’s just not really possible. I thought if I was doing it, it’s because I’m just a “good person”. However, my recent walk near the graveyard left me with the realization that almost every thing I do Continue reading “Caring too much is a thing and I’m doing it”
I took a long walk a couple of days ago. I’d been contemplating working on my ability to capture the beauty of nature, the way that I see it, and with the way my week had gone… I said screw it! Continue reading “A long walk beside a graveyard [photo journal]”