Advice I gave someone else


I went out for lunch with a younger friend of mine last week. She is preparing to enter university and her youth makes me wonder where all of mine is going. Sure, I’m young and she’s only about 6 or 7 years younger than me, but she’s more youthful and not burdened by adulthood like I am. I felt moved with joy by her excitement about the future and I wanted to give her some advice to preserve that. Advice that I really wish someone had given me. I told her to make sure she’s always focused on graduating and to make everything she does in college revolve around that event. I explained to her that, before now, I wasn’t really thinking of how my actions would affect my graduation timeline and now I really, really regret my actions. And as I spoke to her, I realized two things about myself. I actually think that it’s too late for me and I am not currently always taking the very advice I was giving her.

I know that I sometimes consciously think and even state that I feel like I’m too late. Too late to graduate college, to follow my dreams, to get married someday, to become a mom some day… etc. That’s not true! I know it’s not true, but I obviously don’t believe that. I found myself speaking with my friend as if I was 99 years old, giving advice from my death bed. I don’t believe in myself the way that I should, but I’m so good at tricking myself into thinking that I do. Then later, my lack of confidence shows in the things that I say or do… I’m really happy to say that I’m in a time in my life where I actually recognize that I’m this way because it gives me the opportunity to work on this mindset and getting rid of it. Perhaps my new mantra for the month will be “it’s not too late for me”.

I also pondered on whether or not I am currently focusing on graduating. I mean, I put energy into rushing graduation, that’s for sure, but am I actually putting fourth the right amount of energy to be sure that it’s going to happen? I focus so much on being “grown” or working to sustain a certain lifestyle (because I have too much pride to ask my parents for money), that I don’t really stop to think before I do something- will this push my graduation timeline back? Even coming to the school that I am currently enrolled at was a decision I made without really considering my timeline. And when I started at this school, I certainly was focused on everything but my actual graduation date. These days, I’m rushing to finish to make up for what I missed and I never stopped to think of how rushing will actually hold me back. I took so many credit hours, along with working, last semester and this semester that I got burned out and even had to drop a class.

Why is it so much easier to put myself down, give up, and forget the future? What’s that all about? And how can I do a better job and continuing to move forward with my life… or at least stop going in reverse so often?

Since I started this blog, I’ve said that I know that I have to find my own way. The summer is almost hear and the semester is dragging out so slowly. It seems that every other day is one filled with some more of mental anguish, yet I am continuing on. I look forward to giving my mind a break soon, though. I’ve got to take my own advice, which I have been doing somewhat recently, and only focus on what propels me forward.

De-clutter update #5… or 6?

Well well well…

I knew I’d be blogging about my progression in minimalism, but I was surely hoping I wouldn’t be back to say that I royally screwed it up. Sorta.

Over the past year, I’ve gone through so many emotions and thoughts and I shopped to make myself feel better. My capsule wardrobe is now completely filled with lots of clothes that I do not and will not wear, my room had slowly gained clutter again, and my life was getting cluttered too. As a part of my efforts to regather myself, I am planning to go through my things and have another de-clutter session. Luckily, it shouldn’t take me even half as long as the first time did.

I’m looking back to getting back to the good habits and life outlooks that I had before. I do believe that my life is getting back on track. A little bit at a time.





Since the new year has arrived, my world seems to have turned upside down. What’s that saying again? Things aren’t falling apart, they’re falling into place…?

I’ve been steady on my path to fulfilling God’s purpose for me and Satan has turned the heat up on me 100 times over. I’ve gone through almost every emotion possible, had a few break downs, and leaned harder on my faith than I ever have before. I can’t help but wonder what it is that I am getting close to accomplishing that the devil is trying to prevent.

To some degree, I’ve gone back to isolating myself from people. Just a little bit. Or at least I’ve taken a step back from anyone who I can not be 100% sure are contributing something positive to my life. I value my peace and sense of security more than ever before and I’ve come to realize that people around me have an outstanding affect on just that. Not to mention, I’ve found that surrounding myself with people who have similar ideas and the same faith as me tend to keep me on track.

But for a moment I was questioning if I am wrong for wanting to be a little more picky about who I surround myself. I questioned if taking a step back from social media was truly the right thing to do. Could “people” really be that bad?

Well that brings me to the present day. In January I began my hunt for my “success groups”. I attended classes and interest meetings for many groups and organizations both on and off my campus in search of the one that would fit. After some time and some research, I narrowed my search down to just a few groups and began to settle into them. Everything really seemed like it’d go well with each group and for most it did, however, there is one group that things just did not seem to workout with.

A life lesson that I thought I was already familiar enough with decided to bring me some more lemons. The reason I tend to pull away from people and prefer to keep my circle extremely small is because I learned a while back that most people don’t love (or even like) me unconditionally. In today’s day and age especially, people like dismiss anything that doesn’t give them instant gratification. I learned very quickly that in one of my new groups, openly disagreeing with what the group wants (or specific individuals), instantly makes me an outcast. The feeling of being exiled like that initially took me to a low I haven’t seen in years. Suddenly, it seemed like I was so alone when I was only looking at that one group of people because I had nearly forgotten about all of the love and support I had from elsewhere. Suddenly, I seemed to have forgotten that I’d already become a part of other groups and did not have to solely interact with just that one.

Of course it didn’t take me long to see the light and to realize that the cloak of loneliness had been thrown over my eyes, but I had a thought. I remembered why I’ve chosen in recent years to take a step back from social media and why I’ve become such a picky person about who I allow to exist in my circle. I really value my inner and outer peace and sense of stability.

At the same time, as much as I love the life of a hermit, I know that it’s not good for me to just live under my safety shell. It may not seem like it initially, but my presence could make some sort of positive impact. And my outspokenness could be what inspires others to do the same and make a change some day. Not to mention, I think I needed a little bit of fire under me for me to really make a change in my life.  And after one month, I can honestly say that I feel renewed.