There’s no manual given to you when you become a parent. There’s no customized guide to tell you what’s best for your child. There’s also no rewind button after you’ve had a major role in an event that traumatized your child. There’s no law that says they have to forgive you, or bring their children (if they have any) around you. Just like there’s no law that says every parent must have the perfect parenting technique. It’s tricky, isn’t it? Being completely responsible for another human’s physical and emotional needs. I don’t have any children, but I am the child to parents whom I once held a great deal of resentment towards.
Continue reading →
It’s really easy for me to tell someone that I “couldn’t care less” about whatever their problem is- especially when they’ve got a problem with me. It’s even easier for me to brag to other people about how resilient and “thick-skinned” I am. Yet, my anxiety at its core has always been the exact opposite. I’m like a fruit or vegetable with a hard outer shell, but the inside is as mushy as melted ice-cream. Anxiety makes me vulnerable. It whispers into my ear that something is wrong and someone is out to get me. However, in my recent quest to overcome anxiety once and for all, I’ve learned a weapon that can be used against it- the art of not giving a single damn. Continue reading →
Well, the past few weeks… No, the past few months have been incredibly strange. I’ve been unable to use any other words to describe this journey to self discovery because it’s incredibly rare that I reach this point. Continue reading →
Tomorrow marks the end of my new job. It’s crazy to think that nearly 2 months ago I said I was unhappy about starting this job, but now I’m sad just imagining it ending. I love my job. I’ve gained so much from it. Wisdom, closure for past trauma, friendship, and perhaps more. I can’t believe that it went by so quickly and not a single day was “bad”. I just can’t believe it’s almost over. I can remember the day I walked in, confused and Continue reading →
Today I had the kind of encounter I treasure the most. It was with an older woman working at my job for the day. She was really enthusiastic about meeting me, which threw me off because I’d never met her before. “I’ve heard so many great things about you and I really wanted to see you in action”, she told me. I wondered who she’d heard these “great things” about me from because I recently learned that my children have been going around school Continue reading →
So, you’re not where you (think you) want to be in life right now. You’ve got a vision of the ideal future, its bells and whistles, and you can just image how much better things would be if you could get there. I get it. Trust me, I do. I’ve dreamt of packing my things and starting my life in Japan since I was a little girl. It was easy to look at things and say “well, at least when I move away I won’t have to deal with that anymore”. Funny enough, the things that I was trying to run away from just happened to constantly reoccur in my life. I hadn’t considered that maybe I was the issue and that it was time for a change.
About a year or so ago, I discussed this with Continue reading →
I’m officially 7 months out from “the big day” and I’m in need of a serious attitude adjustment. Life has been fairly good to me, so it makes no sense for me to be unhappy about anything. My classes are coming to an end and I only have a couple of actual final exams. The rest are just paper and projects that I’ll submit or present on the exam day. This was also my last semester of “real classes” as I like to call them, so from this point forward, it shouldn’t be too difficult to get by. I’ve had no social disputes with anyone and my love life is still in-tact (I’m not seeing anyone at the moment but I’m not unhappy about my love life either). So then, why am I feeling less than enthused? Continue reading →