From August of 2016 until August of 2019 I had a solid plan. I had a vision. I knew where I wanted to be and I was excited to find out what was drawing my heart there. I devoted myself to my goal as much as I knew how to. I told everyone that I was going to do it and the final months leading up to it, I started to prepare and brace myself.
Then, August of 2019 came to an end and took my dream with it. It was like watching someone take your most prized possession and tossing it into a grinding garbage disposal. I cried. I grieved. I isolated myself from everyone. I prayed. Everyone told me that I needed to just face what was in front of me; some even suggesting that my dream was never meant to come true in the first place. My heart was shattered into pieces and I didn’t trust bringing it to anyone for revival- not even God. Continue reading “Is This the Worst-Case Scenario | Life Update”
There are a few things that I’ve been trying to do for years now. My longest-standing unaccomplished goal is to move to Japan. My shortest, but still 3-year-strong, has been to lose a specific amount of weight. In between sits goals like growing my hair to the middle of my back, passing the JLPT N2, getting married, and starting a successful business. It’s so easy for me to say that I’ve tried “everything”, but haven’t had any success. Honestly, it seriously feels like I have. But the fact is- I haven’t tried “everything” yet.
Last year, I started listening to Continue reading “When You’ve Tried “Everything””
“So what is it that you want to do?” That’s the biggest question of 2019 for graduating seniors, isn’t it?
I started this blog 2 years ago, almost 3? My intention was to write my thoughts, plans, and activities leading up to Continue reading “I Finally Admitted the Truth”
It’s really easy for me to tell someone that I “couldn’t care less” about whatever their problem is- especially when they’ve got a problem with me. It’s even easier for me to brag to other people about how resilient and “thick-skinned” I am. Yet, my anxiety at its core has always been the exact opposite. I’m like a fruit or vegetable with a hard outer shell, but the inside is as mushy as melted ice-cream. Anxiety makes me vulnerable. It whispers into my ear that something is wrong and someone is out to get me. However, in my recent quest to overcome anxiety once and for all, I’ve learned a weapon that can be used against it- the art of not giving a single damn. Continue reading “The Art of Not Giving A Damn”
Very soon, I will have accomplished not one, but two of my life goals. I’ll have obtained a bachelors degree and moved to Japan in just a little more than 5 months. I’m fairly young, so this will be the first time in my life that I’ve actually reached a point like this in my life. It’s strange. I mean, what do you do once you’ve crossed off everything on your bucket list? I gave it some thought and decided that the best thing is to set new goals. Continue reading “My “Post-Bucket List” Bucket list”
I had an interesting, but not unusual, conversation with some of my co-workers recently. At this point in my life, discussions about having babies and getting married come up a lot. I’m approaching the “big 3-0” and it’s got people wondering about my womb, especially since I’m single.
The conversation started off about how unappealing child-birth is. A co-worker around my age brought it up to me and I couldn’t help but agree. I mean, between the pain of the birth, the pain of Continue reading “Why I Want to Adopt”