Is This the Worst-Case Scenario | Life Update

IS THIS THE

From August of 2016 until August of 2019 I had a solid plan. I had a vision. I knew where I wanted to be and I was excited to find out what was drawing my heart there. I devoted myself to my goal as much as I knew how to. I told everyone that I was going to do it and the final months leading up to it, I started to prepare and brace myself.

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Then, August of 2019 came to an end and took my dream with it. It was like watching someone take your most prized possession and tossing it into a grinding garbage disposal. I cried. I grieved. I isolated myself from everyone. I prayed. Everyone told me that I needed to just face what was in front of me; some even suggesting that my dream was never meant to come true in the first place. My heart was shattered into pieces and I didn’t trust bringing it to anyone for revival- not even God. Continue reading “Is This the Worst-Case Scenario | Life Update”

A Lot Has Changed

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At the end of September, I posted that I was taking a short break from writing in order to focus on other things.

Other things included my upcoming graduation next month and my absolutely pointless courseload, studying Japanese, posting more content on my other platforms, improving my quality of life, acquiring a post-graduation job, and the list goes on. So much has changed and the past few months have been absolute hell. Looking back, I predicted this in my diary over the summer. I just knew that there was no way I’d get to glide my way through the finish line. So let me be transparent and catch you up. Continue reading “A Lot Has Changed”

The 90-day Mark

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You know, sometimes I feel like I’m doing so great. My optimism peaks at an all-time high. I eat well, go to the gym regularly, pray regularly, and I (feel like I) have a grip on my life.

Other days, I just sink into the depths of my lows. I could be eating better, working out more, praying more, waking up earlier, achieving more at work. Do I have a grip on my life? Or am I standing on the accelerator petal- headed straight for a cement wall? Continue reading “The 90-day Mark”

Social Media And Mental Health

1 (3).pngAs a very introverted, anti-social woman, I have no problem admitting that I don’t enjoy social media. My reasoning is what you’d expect from someone like me. I am easily exhausted by human interaction, anxious, and sometimes prone to irritation. Social media can be a great tool for connecting or re-connecting with people, building a business, and even befriending new people with similar interests. However, social media can also be a war zone. People spew hate-speech, publicly (virtually) crucify people for their mistakes, and cyber-bully the innocent. Today, it is my personal preference to Continue reading “Social Media And Mental Health”

The Worst Case Became the Best

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Tomorrow marks the end of my new job. It’s crazy to think that nearly 2 months ago I said I was unhappy about starting this job, but now I’m sad just imagining it ending. I love my job. I’ve gained so much from it. Wisdom, closure for past trauma, friendship, and perhaps more. I can’t believe that it went by so quickly and not a single day was “bad”. I just can’t believe it’s almost over. I can remember the day I walked in, confused and Continue reading “The Worst Case Became the Best”

Hindsight : A Look Back At My First 3 Posts (Part 3)

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For my last post in this series, I’m going to examine my 3rd post on this lovely blog of mine. The topic is one that is really crazy to me because, 2 years later, I’m actually about to have to act on the things that I wrote about. Continue reading “Hindsight : A Look Back At My First 3 Posts (Part 3)”

Hindsight : A Look Back At My First 3 Posts (Part 2)

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This is a continuation of a series, analyzing my first 3 posts and seeing how I feel 2 years later. I am also doing this to (privately) analyze my growth as a writer. Continue reading “Hindsight : A Look Back At My First 3 Posts (Part 2)”

How I “Upgraded” My Look (Long Post)

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In May of last year, I was in a terrible mental space. It was the second time in my life where I’d reached the proverbial “rock bottom” emotionally. I was forced to face all of the feelings that I had bottled-in for over 5 years. While I won’t go into much of the specifics, I will say that it was the result of not being honest with myself. I would tell myself that I was fine when I wasn’t, say I was taking a “break” from dating when I really wanted to be in a relationship, etc… I wasn’t taking the best care of myself and I certainly wasn’t putting myself first. I think the only thing I cared about was making money. I was struggling mentally and it had started to affect my job, so I quit and decided that I would take on the financial burden of going two months without pay- the beginning of the financial crisis I’m in now, to figure myself out. Continue reading “How I “Upgraded” My Look (Long Post)”

5 Good Questions | Part 2

Question 2: What is your ninety-second personal elevator speech?

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So, I’m continuing on from my last post about a tinybuddha article that has really given me some important things to meditate on. The second question actually caught me by surprise because this article focused on gaining a better sense of my life’s purpose, yet here I am being posed an interview question. I honestly skipped it each time I’ve come  back to read the article and I’ve contemplated skipping it here too. Then I started to think, perhaps that’s exactly why I should be paying attention. I tend to disregard things that are sometimes very important just because of the way I came across them.

The author suggests approaching this question as if Continue reading “5 Good Questions | Part 2”