Little Specks of Brown

My favorite thing to do in the morning is open my blinds and look at the trees outside of my window. One tree has a branch that hangs particularly close to my window, so I tend to look it it’s leaves first. Today, I noticed brownish, yellowish specks and a thought popped into my head… Time waits for no one.

The summer season is approaching a close and autumn is coming right behind it. No matter who was born or who died, no matter who was hurt or who found peace, no matter who found there way or who went deeper into the darkness… time didn’t stop. The leaves on this tree aren’t going to stop and wait for life to get better or worse to change their color and fall to the ground. The earth will keep rotating, its orbit continual, and time will continue to pass.

I, too, need not wait. Pain from my past, lost friendships, loneliness, or even my upcoming graduation are no excuse for me to pause my life, even for a second. I don’t need to wait for the “perfect” time to pursue my goals, get rid of toxic people and things, or to decide to be confident in myself. I have to get used to continuing on, just like to leaves on that tree. Those brown specks tell me that the tree is anticipating the change in season and I took it as a message from God, that I need to do the same. I’m about to enter a new season, whether I’m ready or not, and it’s time to prepare. Not when I feel like the time is right, but right now.

2018 isn’t over yet and it’s not too late to accomplish the things I’d hoped for by the end of the year. And honestly, before I saw the leaves this morning, I’d already come to the conclusion that I needed to forget the idea of this little “life pause” button that I can sit on when I’m not feeling like moving forward. But it’s a lot easier said than done? Don’t you agree? So, I always need a gentle reminder, like browning tree leaves or a stick note that I’ve placed on my bathroom mirror, or even a Pinterest dream-board.

The seasons are going to change soon. Are you ready?

Shouldn’t Everyone Go To College?

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To go or not to go… that is the question… right? As an adult who really wasn’t that interested in going to college as a teen, but still went, I might have a balanced perspective on the matter for those who are contemplating going (or forcing their kids to/not to go). Continue reading →

My Only Summer Goal

Spend today ina library

It was just three months ago that I sat in my supervisors office with red, swollen, teary eyes. I was irritable, irrational, and just straight up tired of the world. My supervisor sat across from me in attendance of my pity party with a sad look on her face and she asked me if I wanted to continue working at my job.  Continue reading →

Looking for myself | Life Update

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I can not believe the summer is going by so fast. In fact, I actually feel pretty indifferent when I consider it. This summer has been the most relaxing summer I’ve had. I learned so much about myself this past year, but especially over the past couple of months and I’m finally getting to the point in my life that I so desperately sought after. I am actually enjoying where I am in my life at this very moment. It could be because I’ve isolated myself from most people on most days, it could be that a break from school has allowed me to reset, it could be because I’m actually doing things that I enjoy and that make me feel fulfilled. Whatever the reason is, I’m truly appreciating this time. Continue reading →