2019 was the year that I received the closure that I needed the most. All of my behaviors, my phobias, my fears were rooted in the experiences during my childhood that changed the way that I functioned as a person. No matter how old I became, I always thought back to that little misunderstood girl who didn’t deserve the pain that was handed to her. I based a lot of my choices on the vows that I made to her to protect her.
Have you ever heard of a Continue reading “How I Travelled Back In Time”
Today I had the kind of encounter I treasure the most. It was with an older woman working at my job for the day. She was really enthusiastic about meeting me, which threw me off because I’d never met her before. “I’ve heard so many great things about you and I really wanted to see you in action”, she told me. I wondered who she’d heard these “great things” about me from because I recently learned that my children have been going around school Continue reading “I Can Have Both”
I’ve been slowly but surely making preparations for my upcoming graduation. Still, I sometimes can’t believe that it’s really about to happen for me. Despite my excitement, I’ve found my recent run-in’s with anxiety (and accepting that I actually suffer from it), along with minor set-backs/disappointments, to actually cause me to forget that at the end of this year- which is already passing quickly, I’ll have accomplished 2 of my life’s goals. I’ll be in a much better situation to finally start settling down. These thoughts should stimulate me and excite me, but instead they’re like ghosts to me. I can sometimes see them but I can’t touch them, so I sometimes doubt their existence. Continue reading “In Need of Motivation”
2013 vs 2018
5 years ago, I was 20 years old and I was an entirely different person. 5 years doesn’t even sound like a long time, but when you’re transitioning into adulthood, 5 years can be life changing. So here are 5 major ways that I’ve changed in the past 5 years. Continue reading “A 5 Year Difference”
My favorite thing to do in the morning is open my blinds and look at the trees outside of my window. One tree has a branch that hangs particularly close to my window, so I tend to look it it’s leaves first. Today, I noticed brownish, yellowish specks and a thought popped into my head… Time waits for no one.
The summer season is approaching a close and autumn is coming right behind it. No matter who was born or who died, no matter who was hurt or who found peace, no matter who found there way or who went deeper into the darkness… time didn’t stop. The leaves on this tree aren’t going to stop and wait for life to get better or worse to change their color and fall to the ground. The earth will keep rotating, its orbit continual, and time will continue to pass.
I, too, need not wait. Pain from my past, lost friendships, loneliness, or even my upcoming graduation are no excuse for me to pause my life, even for a second. I don’t need to wait for the “perfect” time to pursue my goals, get rid of toxic people and things, or to decide to be confident in myself. I have to get used to continuing on, just like to leaves on that tree. Those brown specks tell me that the tree is anticipating the change in season and I took it as a message from God, that I need to do the same. I’m about to enter a new season, whether I’m ready or not, and it’s time to prepare. Not when I feel like the time is right, but right now.
2018 isn’t over yet and it’s not too late to accomplish the things I’d hoped for by the end of the year. And honestly, before I saw the leaves this morning, I’d already come to the conclusion that I needed to forget the idea of this little “life pause” button that I can sit on when I’m not feeling like moving forward. But it’s a lot easier said than done? Don’t you agree? So, I always need a gentle reminder, like browning tree leaves or a stick note that I’ve placed on my bathroom mirror, or even a Pinterest dream-board.
The seasons are going to change soon. Are you ready?
To go or not to go… that is the question… right? As an adult who really wasn’t that interested in going to college as a teen, but still went, I might have a balanced perspective on the matter for those who are contemplating going (or forcing their kids to/not to go). Continue reading “Shouldn’t Everyone Go To College?”