Confessions of A Workaholic

giphy-5Between the pandemic and my own anxiety, I’ve been in my feelings. Even though I’m already a hermit, I feel more alone now than ever before. It has forced me to think about my life and who I’ve become. About 3 years ago, I realized that the gratification I felt after working hard on things like projects and assignments was the feeling I was missing in my personal relationships with people. It’s likely that I was expecting constant gratification from others in my life because I never felt like I could get it from my mom. The feeling I’d have after busting my chops on a project, seeing my work, and even having my work recognized by others- it made me feel whole. So that what I focused all of my energy on.

As time went on, relationships with people were placed on the back-burner. People disappointed me. They could never be exactly who I (felt I) needed, when I needed them to be. I could never be who they needed me to be. I couldn’t trust Continue reading “Confessions of A Workaholic”

When You’ve Tried “Everything”

everything1

There are a few things that I’ve been trying to do for years now. My longest-standing unaccomplished goal is to move to Japan. My shortest, but still 3-year-strong, has been to lose a specific amount of weight. In between sits goals like growing my hair to the middle of my back, passing the JLPT N2, getting married, and starting a successful business. It’s so easy for me to say that I’ve tried “everything”, but haven’t had any success. Honestly, it seriously feels like I have. But the fact is- I haven’t tried “everything” yet.

Last year, I started listening to Continue reading “When You’ve Tried “Everything””